Striving for Elegance

woke up this morning a bit drunk, hadn’t written in months and this is what came out

Let me count the ways

I could harm myself

two dainty angels of good and bad

wilting on my shoulders

caught in between the persuasion of impulse and honesty

honesty is a noble sacrifice, real work, hard work and loyalty in the end its a real charm to be proud of

its hard to work your way through your impurities without gathering more

they seem to get more ugly

though thats what happens to your immunity

the disease molds in you

findin g new ways to get past your defense creatively

key is not to be a coward

take the blow and be like” I can work with this mother fucker”

Impulse

burns a whole hole in my life

I’m either impulsively starving or losing my mind because I cant binge eat cant buinge drink or binge sobriety becasue of bitter temptation

I’m a crazy creature with shitty habbits strange needs at bizarre times

right now listening to the barry sax speak to another and me

sweet jazz melody

I am dying to learn the upright bass well, life as steady as it goes is very pleasant

my current life situatuion involves working at oco time  time a lot in the week day afternoons and oaccasionally a tuesday night or saturday like last night. I really like it there where my goals for the few hours are to work with and caress the attitudes of timing  and pleasant communication. I’m in front of many people througout my shift  making eye contat and speaking with confidence.

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